Birthday Post
God has blessed me to live another year and today I am celebrating another birthday! I am turning 21 again 
For the past two weeks, I’ve been traveling and trying to keep up with the school gig. Last weekend I attended the Florida Education Fund’s “2008 McKnight Doctoral Annual Fellows Meeting” in Tampa, FL. At the meeting, I had the pleasure of interacting with dozens of African American scholars who shared their experiences of the graduate education process. One of the specific aims of the conference was to address issues pertinent to the needs of matriculating graduate students. With several panel discussions and workshops, I can honestly say that many of my needs were definitely addressed. I also had the opportunity to sit down and speak with the president regarding my shortcomings in school thus far. He listened very attentively and was able to hook me up with someone who is where I want to be in 8-10 years; a female who had successfully been through the process in my field!
The other meeting I attended was actually a trial hearing which was held yesterday by an organization that I joined almost half a decade ago. I had been waiting for that day to come for over a year. I traveled to South Carolina and back home to Florida within the same day because I couldn’t afford to stay at a hotel. Many of the unanswered questions that I have had for well over a year were answered and I am glad that I could put part of my mind at rest. Unfortunately though, I don’t believe the outcome of the trial will be in my favor. Because of that, I am in a very somber mood on my birthday. I keep replaying yesterday over and over in my mind and I keep wondering what else I could’ve said to get my point across. There was a very complex issue at stake and it seemed impossible to be able to successfully prove my case. My memory had failed me. This experience has made me think about the numerous individuals who may be in prison or even death row for crimes that they did not committ. In any event, I learned to be more aware and cautious of the people that I choose to associate with in my life and to be more obedient to the warnings/words of the wise instead of trying to understand their logic and reasoning. At this point, I am not sure what to make of my membership in this organization. A part of me wants to just close that chapter of my life because I cannot name anything positive that has come out of it since I joined. Yet, another part of me wants to hold out because what I experienced could just be one big isolated mess and if I continue, I will eventually have the privilege to see the “greener” side.
Decisions, decisions. I am sooo wishing I had listened to my parents when they told me to enjoy being a child and not to be in a rush to grow up. Being a grownup sucks!
